If I hear one more bad cliche...

[munyoz70]

Happy as a monkey picking fleas

Grinning like an booty eating briars

Crazy as a drunk Indian

Getting down like 4 flat tires

Wrong as two boys kissing

She's so ugly she'd make a frieght train take a dirt road

[hillhunter]

this is crazy as a road lizard, but the coolest thing since somebody put the front pocket on a t-shirt.

mm, mm fine as frog hair

[Denduke]

Colder than a dead well digger's a.. in January.
Hotter than a p...y in a pepper patch.
Call the dogs and p.ss on the fire...
If you can't run with the big dawgs, stay on the porch.
Those two look like 2 monkeys trying to f..k a football.
You wouldn't make a pimple on a duck hunter's a..(insert any craft,discipline, etc.)
You're tryin hard, but you just didn't bring enough with you.
The lite's on but nobody's home.
You ain't playing with a full deck.
His elevator don't go to the top floor.
You musta rode the little school bus.
He couldn't pour p.ss out of a boot with the directions written on the bottom.
You'd screw up a ball bearing with a Q-tip.
They're trying to figure out which one's IQ is greater than their hat size.
If you push on her hard enough she will fall over.
Murphy's Law- If it can go wrong it will!
Shakin like a dog s.....g a peach seed.
Worked like a borrowed mule.
Nervous as a whore in church.
Happy as a goat eating sawbriars.
Tight, water tight like a duck's a..
Don't smile at me like that...I already got a date for tonight. F... you!...Don't try to get romantic...
I think I'll quit and leave ya'll in a bind. Well, you could stay and keep us in a bind!
Don't hang your a.. on the door knob!
What part of "NO" don't you understand?
Do your job with vim and vigor you can be replaced with a n....r!

[4dawgma]

that's about as fugged up as a box of brim hooks...

Colder than a dead well digger's a.. in January.
Hotter than a p...y in a pepper patch.
Call the dogs and p.ss on the fire...
If you can't run with the big dawgs, stay on the porch.
Those two look like 2 monkeys trying to f..k a football.
You wouldn't make a pimple on a duck hunter's a..(insert any craft,discipline, etc.)
You're tryin hard, but you just didn't bring enough with you.
The lite's on but nobody's home.
You ain't playing with a full deck.
His elevator don't go to the top floor.
You musta rode the little school bus.
He couldn't pour p.ss out of a boot with the directions written on the bottom.
You'd screw up a ball bearing with a Q-tip.
They're trying to figure out which one's IQ is greater than their hat size.
If you push on her hard enough she will fall over.
Murphy's Law- If it can go wrong it will!
Shakin like a dog s.....g a peach seed.
Worked like a borrowed mule.
Nervous as a whore in church.
Happy as a goat eating sawbriars.
Tight, water tight like a duck's a..
Don't smile at me like that...I already got a date for tonight. F... you!...Don't try to get romantic...
I think I'll quit and leave ya'll in a bind. Well, you could stay and keep us in a bind!
Don't hang your a.. on the door knob!
What part of "NO" don't you understand?
Do your job with vim and vigor you can be replaced with a n....r!

[4dawgma]

there's only 2 things in life that don't wear out; a pig's rooter and a woman's cooter.....

[JDgator]

That's about as useless as tits on a boarhog.

[redneckway]

i am confussed as a baby in a top-less bar

[bigwater]

Shoulda been here yesterday

[bigwater]

How'd yall do? Kilt a few..




Officer: how much have you had to drink sir?

Driver: a couple

[ajfa]

im happier than a puppy with two peters and an booty that tast like hot dogs

[Waboduck]

Quit jumpin' around like a Chinese shortstop.
He's as lost as a ball in the high grass.
Busier than a monkey with 2 goobers.
Always check your six.
Lost as a goose.
Dumb as a sack of moose horns.

Heard this one from a mentally challenged friend that always got his sayings a little confused......"If you can't stand the heat from the kitchen your elevator is one brick shy of a load."

[donia]

there's only 2 things in life that don't wear out; a pig's rooter and a woman's cooter.....

don't pee on my leg and try to tell me it's raining!

....you serious, clark??

[driveby]

Madder than a legless ethiopian watching a doughnut roll down a hill.
--Larry the Cable Guy

[MudHog]

a woman's cooter.....

I beg to differ......


that thing looks like an old catchers mitt

[rbsdrake]

a woman's cooter.....

I beg to differ......


that thing looks like an old catchers mitt

or two pieces of roast beef