Getting married...any advice?

[duck_nutt]

and..........you better learn to read between the lines cause that's how alot of women communicate...hehehe ...tricky little questions will come up to..BE CAREFUL.....some don't need to be answered.....man, this would take too long to explain..prolly best let you experience it on your own..learning experiences...."Do I look fat in this dress?" oh boy!...."how does my hair look?".......if you answer wrong to either of these and you're nights shot.....she'll put on every outfit she has or sit at the make-up table all night trying to 'fix it'....when i hear someone is getting married or having a baby, the song "It's the end of the world as HE KNEW it' by REM pops into my mind......but i've been married for 14 years this June...3 kids....the day i got married and the day 3 kids were born were the best days of my life....kinda like a garden....the more you work in it, the better it will produce..neglect it, and you'll go hungry..

[gyver]

don't let her eat the wedding cake. it'll add 40 pounds and lock her knee's together.
got it 3 or 4 times a week for the 6 yrs. we lived together, now i've gotten it 3 or 4 times for the year we've been married.

good luck and congrats.

[lower14]

I’m sure I’ll catch hell for this, but marrying for love is about the single dumbest idea ever. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, there are two serious other factors involved. And, before I get into that, a good rule of thumb – if a couple uses the term “soul-mate” within 1 year before or after the wedding day, the marriage will end in flames within 5-7 years.

Most importantly, you marry a family, not a person. And it’s not whether you both get along with the in-laws; it’s about whether you actually enjoy spending time with them. “Sucking it up” for 1-2 holiday weekends a year takes a hellacious toll on the nerves over the years, especially if your spouse is sensitive to you mentioning that you can’t stand her (or she your) overly-protective mother, her bitchy sister and her bum of a brother who is always asking for money. You can somewhat get away with this if you live far enough away (I live in Virginia, but the whole family is still in Mississippi – 1000 miles is a hell of a buffer zone)

And marriage is a financial merger. Just as you don’t understand why she “saves money” by buying her 75th pair of black shoes just because they were “on sale,” she won’t understand why you need your fifth 12-gauge and those extra 2 dozen decoys. I’m of the opinion that you need to keep finances as separate as possible. Keep separate checking accounts and credit cards. Both of you should have your own “slush fund” so that you don’t have to seek permission if you want to splurge on something. And, above all, set a freaking budget at the start of the year and stick to it!

[RIP EM]

Rip Em !

[mudsucker]

RUN!!!

[Unlucky Ducky]

any advice............don't do it

[Johnboy114]

I too am getting married here shortly..We have been attending marriage conferences & seminars to help prepare us..Most of what lower 14 said has been stressed at many of these seminars. Another thing that I have learned and has already helped out our relationship is that each person has a "Love Language". I quote Gary Chapman "A love language is the way we express our devotion and commitment. You need to know and speak his or her love language" The 5 are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Receiving Gifts
3. Quality Time
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
We usually tend to show others love by the way we want to be shown love..Keep this in mind, as I have learned that it doesnt matter how many gifts I give her she may always say "I dont feel like you love me, or appreciate me" When in all actuallity that is the exact opposite of the truth, her love language may not be receiving gifts, maybe she just needs some words of affirmation..

I realize that I am not married yet, so this advice may not be taken seriously, but this principle can be applied to any relationship..Just take a few minutes and step back and think about.. What do you guys that are married think about this concept?
later

[your-pal-al]

I too am getting married here shortly..We have been attending marriage conferences & seminars to help prepare us..Most of what lower 14 said has been stressed at many of these seminars. Another thing that I have learned and has already helped out our relationship is that each person has a "Love Language". I quote Gary Chapman "A love language is the way we express our devotion and commitment. You need to know and speak his or her love language" The 5 are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Receiving Gifts
3. Quality Time
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
We usually tend to show others love by the way we want to be shown love..Keep this in mind, as I have learned that it doesnt matter how many gifts I give her she may always say "I dont feel like you love me, or appreciate me" When in all actuallity that is the exact opposite of the truth, her love language may not be receiving gifts, maybe she just needs some words of affirmation..

I realize that I am not married yet, so this advice may not be taken seriously, but this principle can be applied to any relationship..Just take a few minutes and step back and think about.. What do you guys that are married think about this concept?
later

i think you have some valid points there but i would not bet all the eggs in the basket on what some relationship guru says. i see these guys on t.v. and they come a dime a dozen. you may be getting way too technical.

find your niche in life and live it. after about twenty years or so you should be able to pretend you are listening intently while watching your favorite hunting show at the same time.

al

[duck_nutt]

oh, and after 14 years, the oral sex is great....before bed she yells 'kiss my a##' and I come back with 'flock you'......litte slice of heaven

[gyver]

" how about some lovin' baby ? no. then go do the dishes"

[Don Miller]

Ducky, Have you ever played Russian Roulette before?

[Ringbill]

I guess I'm just wierd. Been married 6.5 years, and loved every single day of it. I honestly think it's about treating her as you want to be treated, and making sure that above all you can be each others best friends.

Then again, it seems to be complicated for most folks. We have a pact that if we ever come to the "D" word, we're gonna just grab the pistols and have a duel.

[Wingman]

Like my preacher told me the day we were married, "learn to say 'I'm sorry.'"

Boy, have I said that alot in the last year.

But after a while, just simply saying "I'm sorry" doesn't work anymore, because you really didn't say it like you meant it....so, you have to learn to say it with feeling...yada, yada, yada.

Hehe, marriage is good. When it gets tough, stick it out. I've only been at it for a little over a year, but 24/7 with the same person tends to weigh heavily on the attitude. Just remember, most folks nowdays don't last.....be a weirdo and stick together no matter what.

My wife is as good as gold; she is pretty understanding about my hunting. She has learned to realize that hunting is my "release". You have to realize what her "release" is, too. "Hold on loosely but don't let go" as the song says.

Money and family will bring you most of your disagreements. Learn to manage one and co-exist with the other....I'm still working on it.

Pray. If you don't, it will fall apart...trust me.

Good luck, man!

Wingman

[DuckyDan]

I'm back from the honeymoon! Got a little sunburned, but I'm fine now. Saw some cool stuff in Mexico. Lots of neat fish while snorkeling. Anyone framiliar with the fish around the Yucatan Peninsula down there. I have a question about one. Also, Mudsucker, do you know anything about the cows on the side of the river around the South Pass?

I'll try to post some pics when I get them back.

[mudsucker]

Yes Dan,
The cows are all up and down both SW and South Pass. If you were on a cruise ship out of N'awlins, then you went down SW Pass as South Pass is not maintained as a ship channel. They belong to a syndicate tah has a "cattle" barge that they use to transport the cows. It is a trip to see them pushing the barge(about 50' LOA) loaded with them doggies! At one time, people would say that those were Judge Perez's cows. I do not think the Perez family from Plaqimine Parish has any thing to do with the present day cattle venture. They put them down there to graze and get fat! You should see the size of the coyotes that are down there!
P.S.: Were you on the "Conquest"? My brother and sister-in-law was on that on last week for their 15 wed. aniv.! They had their 14yo daughter in tow.