Daycare alternatives

[Dux Be Us]

Ask around like your doing...we found a lady that sat 3-4 kids to keep under all the regulations of a daycare. We tried Montesorri School, daycares, and even private sitters before finding this gal...she treated my boy like one her own. The money is a small price to pay to be assured that your child is in the best place for them. Having momma stay at home is always an option as well....good luck

[bulldog ducker]

Quite the contrary.....I am humbled each time I think about my mother choosing to forego her career to stay at home and bring up 3 kids.......'open mindedness' the favorite term of a liberal politician. If being open minded means I can agree with someone else rearing my child, then I will gladly stay close minded thanks.

As I said before gentlemen, use whatever excuse or justification you need to pawn your children off to someone in their early formative years........just remember don't feel bad when they stick you in a nursing home cause you are cramping their lifestyle........only following your lead.

So I guess you are home schooling your kids.

[skywalker]

No sir, my wife is an elementary school teacher and is just down the hall. We keep a very close eye on cuuriculum, but both know that if it deviates too far, then yes, homeschooling is an option. Also keep in mind that most children develop key personality trait and lifelong values in their first 5 years, hence my response on 'early formative' years.

[kris Schaumburg]

I love these kind of discussions, lets you get some insight on how different some people's perspective is than your own.

Mud, I assumed 7 days in a week to get the average weeks in a month, but if you look at the math, I adjusted to five days in the hourly calculation.

If we are going to throw out random assumptions that have no basis in reality (skywalker), what if I said kids who go to daycare are at least 50% more intelligent and have 46.25% better earning power in the long run (obviously completely false, as intelligence is almost entirely genetically correlated and upbringing has very little influence). You have to be kidding me that you think daycare led to school shootings, and where did your statistics on divorce rates come from. The life expectancy has changed drastically since 1900, so at the very least you'd have to adjust the divorce rate for divorces that occur later in life, when those widows from the 1900s would have opted for a divorce, if their stubborn ignorant husband hadn't died at 40.

[JaMak84]

and where did your statistics on divorce rates come from. The life expectancy has changed drastically since 1900, so at the very least you'd have to adjust the divorce rate for divorces that occur later in life, when those widows from the 1900s would have opted for a divorce, if their stubborn ignorant husband hadn't died at 40.

Matter of perspective I suppose, but most of the divorced couples I know were single working families. Daddy worked, momma stayed home and did the pool boy while the kids were off at school.

[cwink]

No sir, my wife is an elementary school teacher and is just down the hall. We keep a very close eye on cuuriculum, but both know that if it deviates too far, then yes, homeschooling is an option. Also keep in mind that most children develop key personality trait and lifelong values in their first 5 years, hence my response on 'early formative' years.

I may be confusing your screen name with someone else on here, but didn't we use the same sitter for awhile.. Her name was Ashley Thornton?

I am not doubting your claims, but by your logic then all those kids with stay at home moms on welfare and food stamps in the hood should be model citizens...

[420 racin]

Well it sounds like my wife needs to quit her job and become a daycare professional now and then become an elementary school teacher, then a middle school teacher followed by a high school teacher and possibly a college professor in order to keep an eye on our child so he won't shoot up the 8th grade. I am only confused how she woudl accomplish all this if we have another child? I guess I could quit my job next and begin at teh daycare professional level and work my way up. Of course we would have to sell all our stuff, move to section 8 housing and get on the gov assistance, start voting democrat so we continue getting all the "free" stuff.

Skywalker, your point of view, in my opinion, is.... Ridiculous. Daycare is by no means the demise of the kids today.

Bottom line is, Daycare is not cheap, if you find one that is cheap..it is cheap for a reason.

[skywalker]

kris: not assumptions, based on research in U.K., Canada and USA.....take some time and do some research on your own...plenty has been written about childhood agressiveness, ADHD, childhood obesity and the impact of daycares.

Cwink- you must have me confused.....

JaMak- 'most'.....really.....talk about random assumptions....care to provide stats on that or some real evidence?

420 racin- ridiculous? I can live with that. It's all about 'choice'. Your 'assumption' that daycare is by no means the demise of children today.......where do you get that from?

As I said earlier, this topic is 'my soapbox' and I prefaced all comments with that. I have studied research on this for many hours many hours and my wife has a Master's in Elementary Counseling..........Take it for what you will, but at the end of your life will you say 'I wish I had spent more time with my kids or I am glad I could buy them (or yourself) toys they no longer have'...........ask yourself that now.......before they are grown and gone!

[kris Schaumburg]

I will research further into which accredited studies from your point of view I would put stock into. I do think it is important to be able to debate both sides of an argument, even if you believe one has no merit.

You have great conviction sir, I am sure you would make a fine father, whether your kids were in daycare or homecare. Passion for family is a virtue, that i'm sure both of us would agree has declined in modern society.

[cwink]

This can work both ways though..

My Dad work himself to death trying to provide enough so that my mom could stay home.. He worked 60+ hours a week.. We had a small house and no car notes, but he still had to work hard to keep his business afloat. So much that it put a lot of stress on him which let to him drinking and that led to fight between the two of them. Not to mention my mom who had nothing to do during the day but stay at home and raise me with no help from him which made her resent the situation too.. She wanted to get out and work, but he wouldn't let her.. Ultimately they divorced when I was 12.. This lead to more drinking and money worries for my Dad and more stress and more resentment from my mom..

I may be reaching here, but maybe if he did let her work they would have stayed together, he wouldn't have to work so hard, could have relaxed more, and wouldn't have become an alcoholic and died of cirrhosis.

You can research all you want and get data to support anything you want.. But research aint real life..

Kids do best with two parents, parents do best when they are happy.. Some women want to work, some don't, some (like mine) has to for her sanity.. It's not a one size fits all world.. But I know the "staying at home" DID NOT work for our family..

[jacksbuddy]

I am going to get bashed for this, but.......

My wife would like to stay home. In fact, she'd like to have stayed home since we were married! But neither of us would allow that. She doesn't want me to work THAT hard for the family, and I don't want her wasting her time (which she would do if she were staying at home.) Now with a baby on the way, we are both glad that her parents, who are retired, have moved here from China and will help us take care of the baby. It is important to me that this child knows that part of its culture, as well as the Redneck side of life.

What is going to happen when this baby reaches 1, and the Grandparents go back to China? (or sooner, if the situation warrants.) We haven't figured that out yet. Probably daycare of some sort. We will see.

Meanwhile, I am still amazed that the hospital is just going to let us walk out of the hospital with this baby, and expect us to properly care for it?! Are they crazy!?

[duramax]

Sorry Cwink, I respectfully disagree, some people have to 'work to get by' in order to not change their lifestyle they desire when children come along. Buy a smaller house, have only one vehicle, all changes that could be made. It is a sign of the times.....

Early 1900's.......small houses, large families, little money, 90% together
Early 2000's........large house, small families, plenty of money, over half split

Is this really the American dream?

One thing to note... College wasn't 50g's back then either.

Exactly. The average cost of a new car wasn't $30k, gas wasn't $3.50 a gallon, and a weeks worth of groceries didn't cost $150 for a family of 4. My 1 y/o twins are in daycare and it's almost $1400 a month for the average priced daycare where I am. I have a decent paying job for a 31 year old, but there is almost no way we could make it if my wife was a stay at home mom. She's a teacher so thankfully approx 3 months of the year we don't have to pay daycare (both financially and for family sake). We don't have cable, my car is paid for, and my cell is paid thru work. Our house is very average as well (under $200K). But cost of living, even 30 years ago was drastically less than it is today. If gas alone was back to what it was in the 90's we could probably swing my wife staying at home.

[skywalker]

Thanks Kris, as I hope all men on this board do......passion for their family. I only ask that each consider seriously if 'any' concessions can be made in their lifestyle to allow this option. Many women desire the option to stay at home whether they do or not. Of all the younger couples I have counseled in ministry or helped with at work, I have yet to have one come back and say 'I wish I had not had mom stay at home with our child'........I truly admire my wife for her choice. Doing without almost ($50k/year) is a big hit, but we both agree the 6 years at home was worth the investment.

Praying for wisdom for each of you as this choice will have ripple effects for the remainder of yours and your childrens lives.

[blkdout]

Thanks Kris, as I hope all men on this board do......passion for their family. I only ask that each consider seriously if 'any' concessions can be made in their lifestyle to allow this option. Many women desire the option to stay at home whether they do or not. Of all the younger couples I have counseled in ministry or helped with at work, I have yet to have one come back and say 'I wish I had not had mom stay at home with our child'........I truly admire my wife for her choice. Doing without almost ($50k/year) is a big hit, but we both agree the 6 years at home was worth the investment.

Praying for wisdom for each of you as this choice will have ripple effects for the remainder of yours and your childrens lives.

So your wife works at a daycare (school) and gets paid for it. And your kids go to the same daycare (school) while someone else watches them. Your argument seems very hypocritical to me. Also you sure are judgmental of others to be such a christian man.

[skywalker]

Wow....so you incorrectly judge me with your post? Please go back and read my posts before you make incorrect assumptions. Offer advice on the flip side of the 'norm' and then called judgmental and hypocritical. Hmmmm, guilty conscience maybe? If you consider an elementary school a daycare that is your choice, but each person on this post knows there is a tremendous difference in a 6 yr old and a 6 week old. If you don't believe there is a diff, there is very little else we can discuss..........

Just wow.